Lean In
Sheryl Sandberg
More than a decade after it was published, Lean In remains one of the defining books about women, ambition and work. Its central message is simple but still relevant: do not make yourself smaller professionally just because you have - or might one day have - a family.
Sandberg writes about the subtle ways women can start stepping back from their careers long before circumstances actually require them to. We might decide not to apply for the bigger role because we hope to have a baby in a few years. We might avoid taking on a demanding project because family life could become more complicated. In doing so, we can end up limiting our options before we actually need to make a choice at all.
What makes the book particularly interesting for working parents, however, is that Sandberg's message is not simply 'always say yes'. At one point in her career, she was offered an exciting opportunity when she was hoping to have a second child. Knowing how difficult pregnancy had been for her before, she decided that a new role and another pregnancy were too much for that particular season, so she turned the opportunity down.
Later, after her daughter was born, another major opportunity arrived: joining Facebook as COO. The timing was still far from convenient, but this time Sandberg and her husband decided the opportunity was worth taking.
Those two decisions sit together beautifully. Owning your ambition does not mean accepting every opportunity. It means being intentional about which opportunities you pursue, which ones you decline - and why.
The Working Parenthood perspective
Lean In gave many women permission to remain ambitious after becoming parents. But perhaps its equally important lesson is that ambition does not require saying yes all the time. Some seasons you lean in. Some seasons you consciously say no. Both can be ambitious choices.